There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, my salary isn't sufficient!!
-I try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
-They can't fire me, slaves have to be sold.
-Home is where the television is.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
-Death is hereditary.
-Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
-Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
-When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
-Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.
-Well done is better than well said.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
-Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
-You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
-If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
-Pessimist: A person that looks both ways when crossing a one way street.
-The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an approaching train.
-Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.
-I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.
-Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go Wrong that one can't blame on the government.
-There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
-An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound Confusing.
-Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
-Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
-Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
-Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
-When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
-Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
-Believe in love at first sight.
-Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
-Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
-In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
-Don't judge people by their relatives.
-Talk slowly but think quickly.
-When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
-Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
-Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
-When you lose, don't lose the lesson
-Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
-When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
-Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
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